Could this possibly another blog? How many blogs can this girl have?! Answer: not enough. When I was a kid I had stacks of diaries all half filled pages of entries about which boy I liked at the time or why school was horrible. As much as I hate to admit it (Gee, I hope my mom doesn't see this.) I love writing. I love writing about nothing. I love writing about everything. My computer is full of half started novels to prove it. One day, I'll finish them. Maybe one day, I've even get them published. But for now, I'm content writing to no one and everyone on the blogosphere. I was thinking the other day, about what choices I've made, or even choice that have been made for me have impacted my life. When I was 3 1/2 days old, someone made the choice to give me to an amazing couple that couldn't have children. People who raised me to be an Woman of God, who introduced me to a family that I will always love and cherish, so much so that I don't even think of myself as adopted. I am their child. They are my parents. No. Matter. What. They taught me from a very young age that blood doesn't make family and that God puts families together. God gives children to the barren, and fathers to the fatherless. My mom and dad are truly, my best friends. They have taught, disciplined, instructed, coached me throughout my life and they've done a pretty bang up job if I don't say so myself. I know without a shadow of a doubt that God gave them to me and that I can ALWAYS count on them. With God, they are my rock, the foundation of everything I believe and who I am. Then, there's my husband. The one I made the choice to marry. My best friend and soul mate. The one who makes me laugh when I feel like there's nothing to laugh about in this world. The one who's arms wrap around me perfectly and who's hand fits perfectly around mine. He is my beloved and I am his. He truly is the best man I could ever ask for. Lord knows, I've messed up and fallen short and disappointed him but he truly loves me and forgives me every time. To top it all off, he gave me the CUTEST, BEST little boy I could ever ask for.
But then there's the hard choices. Do I take this job? Do I go back to school? What do I make for dinner? Just kidding on that last one but, some choices are just hard to make alone. Sometimes I forget that I have an Almighty Savior waiting for me to call on Him. But when I don't forget, and I lay on my face before Him and wait on His guidance and words, somehow all the hard choices don't seem so hard. There's a peace that passes all understanding. There's a bravery that only comes from on high. That's when you know He's in control.
There's a scripture that has always stuck with me. Whenever I look back on the last 25 years of my life and remember the choices (good and bad) that I've made. "The steps of the righteous man are ordered by the Lord." Psalms 37:23 To me, that means even the bad choices (that ex boyfriend, that even worse ex boyfriend, etc.) that may have led us off path a slight bit, sometimes is what we need to steer back on to the path God has for us.
I'm so grateful that God is so merciful. When we fall short, He's there to pick us up. When we stumble, He brushes us off and helps us. He's so wonderful to us, you know?
I haven't always been the perfect christian. I haven't always been faithful when He's been faithful to me. But He doesn't hold that against me and I love Him for it. My heart is hungry for more of His goodness. Every day, I seek him more. And the more I seek him the more I find him. The more I find him, the more I love him.
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